Steps to a Good Marriage in the Lord
be patient... spend personal time together getting to know each other emotionally and intellectually (not sexually or physically …
As a husband of one wife and father of 7 married since 1994, and together since 1991, having had many conversations with people successfully married for up to 50 years, I have gleaned some important insights into marriage. The "steps" below are pretty basic, but if a person reads, and learns from them, they can avoid many troubles.
Step 1 - Don't have sex with people you are not married to
Step 2 - Take your time and don't get married because he/she is cute... but because the person is a person with virtue and moral character and because they truly want to commit their life to a loving partnership with you
Step 3 - Make sure that you are not deceiving yourself to "be happy"
Step 4 - Make sure you understand marriage is for life; through sickness and health, through poverty and riches, through bad times and good, till death do you part
Step 5 - Pray to see if this is truly God's will (consider fasting while praying - it builds character and can help you focus more on the answer from God)
Step 6 - If all of the above are in place... be patient... spend personal time together getting to know each other emotionally and intellectually (not sexually or physically since that only clouds the mind and deceives the heart). Discuss goals, ambitions, what you are willing to sacrifice in order to have a loving and healthy family, understand the responsibilities involved, and the aspect of being self-sacrificing for others
Step 7 - Be sure you are making the right decision and that the person you are thinking of being with is truly the one - listen to wise Godly council even if you don't like what they are saying - pray
Step 8 - if everything above checks out, set the date, remain pure and chaste until the day you are married - the time waiting will demonstrate character and will build anticipation and enhance the honeymoon
Step 9 - (Don't skip any of the previous steps) Get married understanding that there is no out and that you are committed to making this marriage work no matter what it takes. Recognize that marriage is not, as some say, 50/50, it is 100/100. That way when one is weak the other one can pick the other up and vice versa.
Step 10 - Pray, Communicate, pray, communicate, pray, communicate, repeat until one of you is no longer alive. Love, honour, obey, cherish, build up, encourage, respect, enjoy, truly LIVE... no matter what level of income you have, don't fight over money (it kills marriages).