Article Link: http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/Columnists/Robinson_Ian/2009/02/01/8222986-sun.php

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The evangelical wing of the religion that is atheism is coming to Calgary.

If you thought atheism isn't a religion, you're wrong.

As far as I'm concerned, the minute you start going out in public and shouting about God -- you're a religion.

That the faith embraced by atheists doesn't include goodies like everlasting life or strength to face life's trials or help finding your car keys ... that just means they bought a lousy religion.

Some people bought Yugos. Just because the Yugo was a lousy car, doesn't mean it wasn't a car. It just means the people who bought them weren't bright.

The Toronto-based Freethought Association of Canada ing the actions of a British atheist group -- is bringing its message of hope(lessness) to Calgarians on the side of a bus.

Because that's what we need. A bunch of freaking easterners telling us what to believe.

The message -- which approaches the intellectual sophistication of an annoyed seven-year-old sticking his tongue out at his older sister -- is simple: "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life." Wow.

Personally, if I was going to go up against a couple of thousand years of human history and philosophy, I think I'd have come up with something a little more intellectually rigorous, but maybe that's just me.

The nonsense going on the side of buses is what's known as the "straw man" argument.

You create a position for your opponent and then argue against it, instead of your opponent's real point of view.

The statement that will soon emblazon the sides of some Calgary buses firmly implies people who believe in God are:

a) Worried.

b) Not enjoying their lives.

Oh really?

Newsflash for the morons behind this message: When the good people from the polling companies ask folks if they're happy, feel good about themselves, are in stable, joyful marriages, volunteer, donate to charity, and have earth-shattering, eye-bulging orgasms following bouts of wild monkey sex ... guess who leads in every category?

Christians.

In survey after survey.

Turns out people who believe in God are not only relaxed and enjoying their lives, they're better citizens than their stuck-up, oh-so-sophisticated counterparts in the atheist movement.

What atheists don't get is that people of faith aren't wandering around thinking stuff like: "Gee, if only there were no God, then I could rob that bank, have sex with that German shepherd, lie to my boss without guilt when calling in sick, and drive drunk."

Most people of faith aren't worried because they think they've found the answer to a happy life and adhere to their principles cheerfully.

But atheists don't get that.

Trying to explain religious faith to an atheist is like trying to explain dieting to Al Gore -- he may have a vague, intellectual appreciation of the subject, but he can't turn it into a lifestyle.

If they were truly honest, the Freethought Association of Canada would quote some of the Atheist All-Stars for their ads.

How about this pithy gem: "The heaviest blow that ever struck humanity was the coming of Christianity." -- Adolf Hitler.

Or: "If God is dead, then everything is permitted." -- Jean Paul Sartre.

As a person of faith, I come down on the side of Albert Einstein instead: "I am not interested in this phenomenon or that phenomenon. I want to know God's thoughts. The rest are mere details ... (Quantum mechanics) is not yet the real thing. The theory says a lot, but does not really bring us any closer to the secret of the Old One. I, at any rate, am convinced that He does not throw dice."

Fellow physicist Niels Bohr responded to Einstein's assertion with the following: "Stop telling God what He must do!"

Einstein and Bohr knew more about the universe than most of us ever will.

And they believed in God.